Alison Simpson

Alison Simpson

Dear Mom and Dad

There is not enough room or length I could go to that would be able to fully embrace the compassion, understanding and support you have raised me with. I know I have not been the easiest or the most complacent experience and probably nothing has been like you guys expected when you decided to have a child. I know I put you guys through a lot, I was not very kind and gave you many sleepless nights. And for that I am truly sorry.

Honestly when I saw this contest I started to cry because it made me emotional to think about how could I ever thank you enough? There is not enough in the words "Thank you" to really express my gratitude.
I know we struggled together for a long time. Its probably horrible to have to watch your child go through something so traumatic. And I was in a lot of pain for a lot of years and I was toxic to everyone around me causing you guys a lot of anguish. My mental health was driving me further away from life and I was drinking and using drugs to help anesthetize from being "in" life. I was running away, and hating and harming myself for it. The many times I went in and out of hospitals for suicide attempts... No parent should ever have to go through that.... watching their child slowly wither away from what was a healthy happy to staying up sleepless nights worrying if they are going to die. I can only imagine that it feels like the epitome of helplessness.

Yet you supported me in a way that encouraged me to find the help I needed. A lot of kids out there don't have that. I don't believe that I would be 5 1/2 years sober today and recovering my life without having parents like you.

I know you struggle with your own feelings of "where did we go wrong" when I have struggled so bad. But I want you guys to stop feeling guilty over this. It was circumstances beyond your control. I want you to know that you "did it right". Nobody is perfect but we supported each other as a family through the healing process with love that makes all the difference. You guys encouraged me through any of the therapy or rehab I needed and were willing to be apart of that process. The difference and what sets you apart was that not only did you give me life but you have helped me realize that my life is worth living.

You guys helped me heal from a place when I thought I was too "far gone" to ever recover anything that I thought would be a life. You guys have helped me rebuild my confidence, knowing that its not too late and I am not "broken" and I am a smart young lady. You patiently taught me little by little how to make choices to honour myself rather than hurt again. And therefore I am now actually being apart of life and loving it with every experience.

I have dreams and aspirations. I am playing piano again and have a big silly puppy that I am able to take care of. I feel okay to look myself in the mirror and when I laugh it doesn't feel so empty anymore. Its so amazing for me to be going into my third year of university and doing well at it too!

I would not be alive or be nearly as successful as I have been if you weren't there. Its a really hard thing to do especially when it comes from such a confusing thing like dealing with addiction and mental health. Its hard to know what to do.

I don't know how parents get chosen but I landed with some really good ones. I am very lucky and the only way I believe I can actually "thank you" is by continuing to do whats necessary to take care of the life you have given me.

You both have helped teach me how to overcome one of the biggest challenges in life, and that is how to love myself and in turn, love life.

Thank you, I LOVE YOU